Have you ever felt so in love that you were willing to give up a piece of who you were just to be loved back?
Or perhaps you’ve done things out of character because you thought keeping someone’s love was more important than setting boundaries.
Have you ever been so afraid of being alone that you compromised yourself, settling for someone who didn’t treat you as you deserved?
If so, you’re far from alone. According to a 2020 Forbes report, toxic relationships are disturbingly common, with 84% of women and 75% of men reporting having experienced one. For many, the yearning to feel whole and loved can make them leap into relationships impulsively, prioritizing their partner’s desires over their own needs and doing whatever it takes to feel “compatible". In these situations, the line between love and attachment becomes blurred.
If this sounds like you, we're here to help. We've come up with 3 steps to help you recognize, confront, and leave a toxic relationship so you can open the door to healthier, more fulfilling love in the future.
Recognize the Difference Between Love and Attachment
When you’re deeply "in love" with someone, it’s easy to confuse that with attachment. In a toxic relationship, you often cling to the hope that things will change or that your partner will become the person you need them to be. You might even try to "fix" them. It’s important to realize that healthy love should feel secure and nurturing, not conditional or unpredictable.
These feelings often stem from unmet needs within us that we hope a partner will fulfill. Instead of trying to change yourself or your partner, turn inward and explore what you need to feel safe, happy, and whole. This can be a powerful step in letting go of and preparing yourself for a relationship that truly embodies love and respect.
2. Understand That You’re Worthy of Healthy Love
People often stay in toxic relationships because they believe they don’t deserve better, or they worry that they won’t find someone else who will love them. We want you to believe in your own worthiness, separate from how someone else treats you. No one deserves to feel belittled, invalidated, or manipulated. A loving relationship should be a safe space for growth, joy, and acceptance.
Start by reminding yourself of your worth and the love you deserve. You are capable of loving deeply, and there are people who will value and cherish that about you. Once you are able to realize this, you will be able to make healthier choices in relationships and attract partners who align with your values and respect you.
Set Boundaries to Protect Your Well-being
Boundaries are so important in any relationship, but they’re especially critical when dealing with a toxic person. Leaving relationships often means setting firm, clear boundaries, especially if the other person tries to get you to stay. Boundaries allow you to protect your emotional space, clarify your priorities, and take control of your healing.
Start small with boundaries you can commit to daily. This might mean doing only things you feel comfortable doing, finding quiet time to process, or even limiting contact. When you can step away from a person or situation, sometimes you can see better what is really happening. Setting boundaries is about respecting yourself, your time and your energy.
Please know that leaving a toxic relationship is one of the bravest things you can do, especially when you feel so "in love". By separating love from attachment, believing in your worth, and setting strong boundaries, you’re taking steps to create space for a healthy, fulfilling relationship in the future.
You have all of the love you need right inside of yourself.
And once you find it, beautiful relationships will follow.
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